The Spunkiest of Turtles

““I heard 50 Shades of Grey referred to as “effortless to read because it didn’t use any big words. It was the Dr Seuss of erotica, but without the cleverness of rhyme or imagination.
“

And it made me think…

“Oh, the places my flogger will go,
Or it could be my hand or a sex toy, who knows?
Sometimes I might brandish it high in the air,
Sometimes it will roughly go ‘oh, God, down THERE!”

I’ll treat you like something I just want to use,
And we’ll say it’s consent, but I won’t let you choose.

If I give you big presents, you shouldn’t complain,
About any amount of emotional pain.
You owe me, you see.
You wanted this “fun.”
So why would I offer you your chance to run?

And we’ll have such hot sex! How can that be abuse?
I’ll just make you feel trapped, with no way to get loose.

But don’t blame me, Miss Steele, for your sickening plight;
It’s the fault of this chick who cannot fucking write.””

- (via valeria2067)